Daddy Issues
As we celebrate all the loving, caring, thoughtful fathers in the world we must also acknowledge those that may have contributed to unhealthy patterns in our lives.
Daddy Issues is often used to belittle and demean the behaviors and emotions of a women that may come off strange, needy, or disconnected.
Many expert would associate this behavior with inadequate attachment issues growing up.
Without boring you too much, psychologist and therapist would argue that these distorted reactions in relationships come from a lack of adjustment through a woman’s attachments. A topic Freudian Psychoanalytic theory heavily examines is how a person builds and maintains healthy relationship base on their relationships with their parents- their mom and dad.
But does those challenged relationships affect the relationships, decisions and overall personalities in us as adult?
Is there really such a thing of Daddy Issues? Does having the lack of a present and consistent father figure create a woman that fails to adequately connect with men?
We all face challenges in our relationships. But how we choose to respond to it can say a lot about our upbringings. If we choose to avoid, appease, run, or act out are all based on our attachments to parents.
Without being too much of a social worker, I’ll be remised if I didn’t at least mention the four stages of attachment.
For further research at your leisure.
Types of Attachment
- Secure Attachment
- Anxious Attachment
- Avoidant Attachment
- Fearful Avoidant/Disorganized Attachment
In full transparency , I haven’t had the best relationship with my dad. As a child in fact he was not an active consistent parent in my life. While I had a great network of family members who supported me. I can certainly see how the lack of that fatherly role contributed to why I desire a sense of validation in a relationship.
And frequently why I choose to find a reason to leave a situation before I can feel abandoned. Or just the constant need of validation in a relationship. Some people would call this an “Ah –ha” moment.
Oh daddy I got issues!?
The truth is that its vulnerable to discuss ones flaws. However, taking a look into the mirror can help your see those imperfections to build new patterns- a new you.
Identifying the pattern that paralyze you with fear or avoidance and communicate that to your partner. Examine his actions and intent. https://www.mytruthlieshere.com/the-importance-of-action-in-assessing-intent/
A start is knowing where those feelings originate from. Pinpointing unrecognized trauma, or other emotional attachment issues would afford you a starting point . When you want to run away from a relationship because a person has not made you feel secure fight the urge. Instead try talking through what your feeling recognizing the pattern is the most important thing.
Find better ways to communication those challenges upfront in relationship so your partner can see where it comes from and offer you the support you need to get through it.
Don’t be ashamed of those upbringings. As an alternative, let it serve as a way to be intentional in how you build relationships. How you build relationships and even how you raise your own children.
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