Coming out to family and friends can certainly be difficult however, setting the tone for the conversation can make it a little less terrifying.
Having a very diverse group of friends there is never a time we declare our sexual orientations. Hi I’m Desiree and I’m a heterosexual. My friend’s sexual orientation doesn’t concern me the slightest. But I wonder if there is an appropriate time to discuss a person’s sexuality.
As we seek advice and support from our friends and family through our daily chats or brunch keke’s; how do we gauge our limitations and boundaries for those conversation? How do we ensure we are respecting the wishes of our love ones and ensuring we don’t undermine who they are?
Thinking about coming out to friends?
Know what you have to contribute is valuable, so limiting yourself in any environment is deeming your light.
We lose the chance to learn from your experiences and celebrate who you are in totality.
If you have a friend that shares less about their personal relationships is there ever a good time to mention their reservations? Do you probe about why they choose not to discuss their own personal relationships?
While I am of the mindset that until a friend self-disclose their sexual orientation it’s none of my business. It does nonetheless leave you with a ton of questions.
But having a friend not disclose this information, does it mean the person doesn’t trust you; trust you enough to share their personal life?
A major reason to even broach the conversation is how do you show unequivocal support and love to a friend, a family member, or a colleague that maybe grappling with their identity. Furthermore, how do you avoid awkward situations that can put that friend in an uncomfortable situation or unintentionally being outed?
Is the reluctance of coming out that people would make assumptions and/or gossip?
I would never want my family and/or friends to feel uncomfortable in a situation or feel they will be judge by me.
Recently I was faced with a dilemma to turn the other cheek or to use an opportunity to show support and love. It’s clearly never my intent to force someone out the closet. But how do you have conversations to ensure you are behaving within their boundaries.
Having family and friends who live different lifestyles, I relish in that diversity and what we independently bring to a conversation and an experience. I learn so much from them all.
I have learned that people in general are fluid. They are shaped by their experiences and the people around them.
Having a narrow mindset restrict our thinking, or relationships, and personal growth.
Coming off the passing of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg a fierce supporter for same sex equality and women’s rights; how do we echo that same support in our tight knit circles.
Consider this when you are struggling with if you will come out to your friends:
- Consider a private conversation with each friend. Coming out can be overwhelming already avoid more anxiety and fear. Discuss in one on one conversations vs. group.
- Discuss your boundaries, i.e. I’m comfortable having this conversation with you as my friend but I am not openly comfortable discussing this with others. Know that your friends want to protect your privacy as well.
- Consider if this will make your relationship with that person good, bad, or indifferent.
- Lastly, Additional Resources: NPR Navigating The Coming Out Conversation. https://www.npr.org/
You owe it to yourself to be your authentic self. And if you lose a person close to you for being you, well fuck’em quite honestly.
Someone who truly got love for you will always have your back. Understand, we respect your timelines and have no right to an opinion about your life or lifestyle.https://www.mytruthlieshere.com/?p=643
Leave a Reply