Is it wise to continue being friends with an ex?
Under what circumstance is being friends with you ex beneficial for you? Maintaining a relationship with your ex can be dangerous but for the sake of really giving this a thorough review and consideration let’s look at the pros and cons.
Recently, this topic has become a topic of conversations amongst one of my dearest friends. To be fair, I met this friend and her husband through my ex fiancé. We have been friends for nearly five years and our friendship is invaluable. She’s one of the first people I go to seeking help in a dilemma and she always have insightful words of wisdom.
So it was disturbing when she was persisting that I consider being friends with my ex so that we all can hang out at the same gatherings.
Under normal circumstances, she and her husband spend time with both myself and the ex for different activities. They are very respectful of both friends and respect our boundaries. Which have served us an opportunity to really grow as friends and it’s something in which I’m truly grateful.
There is no ill will between my ex and I (at least I hope). But, throwing a few drinks back and loud banter is not something I want to share with an ex after a relationship has dissolved. I share key tips to getting out over your ex here. https://www.mytruthlieshere.com/getting-over-your-ex-how-to-move-on-from-your-past-relationship/
And knowing the history does a true friend even ask?
Can you benefit from being friends with an ex
Understandably, one can be asked to show up to vow renewal or a baby shower. This is clearly a situation where shared space may be inevitable. But short of these rare occasions are their times to engage and pretend being friends with an ex is even something to acknowledge.
What’s the Pros to being friends with an ex?
Let’s see……..Nothing, jk.
No, no let’s really examine any benefits you gain being friends with an ex.
The Pro’s:
- To maintain a relationship with family and friendship developed as a couple
- Surely, it’ll show your maturity level
- Along with, offering you a male perspective
Sorry gang that’s all I have for you, yes three reason. If you have some leave them below for consideration.
The Con’s :
- Letting go of old baggage afford you the opportunity to grow. (I honestly learned so much about myself after that relationship)
- Affording them your presence; the enjoyment of what you bring is no longer for their enjoyment. Sorry but not sorry.
- Hashing up old feelings, that have no merit.
- Making yourself vulnerable to old tactics ( #wasteful)
- Questioning yourself, decision, or self-worth
In short, I only see being friends with an ex as an advantage if you are looking to get back together.
Otherwise, I am of the opinion you need to move on, no friend nor family member should stunt your personal growth and hold you hostage to a relationship/friendship that does not benefit you.
Thus, you take the lessons you learned from your past relationship good, bad, or indifferent and move on. End that chapter of your life.
If you by chance bump into your ex at a social event you can be cordial but say your pleasantries and keep it moving.
There’s a reason they’re an ex. Don’t look back its nothing there. Get out there an get dating!!http://www.bumble.com
And don’t allow anyone to force their own opinions on you. Stick with your own best judgement whether its in the best interest of others or not.
Great post, there’s this question always wondering around whether to maintain friendship with your ex or not. I think it’s okay if we you don’t contact each other. Life goes on with or without them.
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