I must say I never honestly thought about how to make friends or to be a great friend. I thought those kind of things came naturally. Until I was recovering from a failed relationship of 7 years where after the relationship I looked up and all my college friends and high school buddies were not around. I thought wow… how did I become the person to allow a relationship to derail my friendships with people I had known for years. I guess people eventually get tired of the “no I can’t make it to your birthday dinner” “no I don’t think I am going to make the girls trip” or “I have something planned and won’t make your child’s birthday party” you become less and less the “it person” and more of that I won’t waste my time to even ask, she won’t be available.

Cherish the friendship you make !

And with this I want to apologize to, two of my closest friends that I miss the most that I haven’t been able to reconnect with, Tirmira and Sam. If by chance they come across this blog.

After facing a failed engagement I had no real friends to talk to luckily I had my sisters but the friends that I had spent year cultivating was no longer there. In fact, it was even more embarrassing to reach out after refusing countless invitations and to jump back on the scene seemed obsurd. Even writing this post it sounds crazy. To allow friendships dissipate because of a man, a man that wasn’t worth it makes me quiver of mortification.

Well the light is at the end of the tunnel right?! Yes, I attest to this! So let’s start with having a 7 year relationship that ended in a failed engagement and no friends. Sounds depressing right. It was for a bit. But beyond more, while all I wanted to do was crawl under a rock. I had a mutual friend (Ruth) of who I met through the ex that reached out to me and genuinely express a shared feeling of wanting to maintain a friendship despite the no longer so mutual friend. As a newly single and soon to be empty nester, I was puzzled about the next chapter. My friendships I made easily through undergrad and grad school seemed so distant. And the idea of meeting new friends seemed impossible.

So here is what I did to build great friendships:

• I accepted every offer to go to happy hour and parties from work colleagues. As a supervisor, I only happy houred with other supervisor.
• On occasion, I even arranged a place to go to have frozen drinks on a rooftop or a terrace on a beautiful day. I started to spend more time with the people who were of like-minded. Those who were single and fashionable were the primary gals that came out. with the exception of Ruth who is married.
• You will end up meeting friends through other friends and before you know it you have a squad of girls and guys that are the best company for wineries, summer courtyard parties, birthday celebrations, and house happy hours.

 *apparently there is some etiquette of meeting friends through friends you should be mindful of but I’ll write about this in another post. 

Now my new friends and I, do so much together. Just last month about 11 of us rented a dope house and went skiing for the weekend. I promise you it’s worth jumping out there and opening yourself up to new people.

So give it a try.

Meet my friends here. https://www.mytruthlieshere.com/the-gang/

And with this I want to apologize to, two of my closest friends that I miss the most that I haven’t been able to reconnect with, Tirmira and Sam.

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